Dartblog

Dartmouth students can put up with a lot: course oversubscriptions, the loss of great faculty members, being shuttled from dorm to anonymous dorm, paying $50k per year to fund a college budget in which cooks and bottlewashers earn wages and benefits at over twice the prevailing local rate, accepting policies that ensure that fraternities far outnumber sororities, and enduring an administration of played-out, Wright-era holdovers — but now comes the unkindest cut of all: summertime swimming in the Connecticut River has been banned.

From: “April Thompson”
Date: Wed, 23 Jun 2010
To: Undergraduates in Residence
Subject: Summer Updates

Dear Summer Students:

…In addition to the change in summer dining, we have also made a change to the riverfront recreation options. For safety reasons, the Connecticut River swim docks will be closed. A recent safety review identified a range of concerns that led us to conclude that the swimming area at the River cannot be safely maintained. The water at the swim dock is 18 feet deep and drops off rapidly to 25 feet. The depth, combined with the murky water and extremely poor visibility makes it difficult or impossible for lifeguards to see anything or anyone below the surface. In addition, the current in the River varies rapidly because of unscheduled draw-downs through the dam a couple of miles downstream and there is often submerged debris that swimmers may not be able to see prior to entering the water. While we know that swimming in the Connecticut River has been a favorite summer activity for some students, the docks (crew, safety and Ledyard Canoe Club) are simply not safe places to swim. We can understand that some of you may be disappointed, but we ask that you recognize the risk and avoid swimming in the River to keep each other safe.

Oh, please. Give us all a break. The depth of the Connecticut off the sophomore dock has not varied over the past decades; the river is tea-colored as always; and the current has flowed fast/slow/upstream/downstream since 1950, depending on how much water is going through the Wilder Dam.

What next? Will the crew team have to wear swim floaties while rowing? Will students no longer be allowed cars because of the perilous risk of traffic accidents? No more hiking on the Appalachian Trails because people might fall and hurt themselves? And no more dangerous bodychecking in men’s hockey games?

It remains to be seen whether students will meekly assent to yet another diktat from the cringing bureaucrats at Parkhurt. As we approach the 41st anniversary of the Stonewall Riots, let’s see if the spirit of principled resistance is still alive in the land: Hey Jim, Let Us Swim!

Note: For those of you unfamiliar with Storrs Pond, the College’s proposed alternate swimming venue, it is a pretty little pond in the woods that is not within walking distance of campus. The water there is already soupy warm. Storrs chief attraction is a broad beach, with which my kids grew bored as they reached the age of ten. No word yet from Dean Thompson as to whether Dartmouth students will be provided with pails and shovels for their waterside outings.