Dartblog

“Those who wait also serve”, simple words written on a bronze relief at the U.S. Navy Memorial in Washington, D.C. These words hit home for me when I found an article today introducing the American Widow Project. While politicians debate the politics of the war in Iraq, some all too often forget the men and women serving in harm’s way. It is easy to do if you have never served in uniform, never known a close family member who has served. Aside from the budgetary effects and the effects on America’s image around the world, there are more tangible losses. According to the Associated Press, 4,155 members of the U.S. military have been killed in the war in Iraq. Many of those men were young and newly married. Finding themselves in a situation that no one would dream of, some of the widows of the war in Iraq have banded together to form the American Widow Project. These women connect over their terrible loss- as one widow put it, they may have gotten it in different ways, but they all got “the same news”.

No one imagines they will be a widow before many of their friends have walked down the aisle themselves. Preparing for the worst is different than believing that it will happen. Surviving a deployment would be impossible if you just waited for that terrible news. I do not believe that you can ever be truly prepared for that day. Taryn Davis, 22, was distraught when she learned that the Army would take her husband’s wedding band off, after he had promised her that he would never remove it. Beth Tomczak, 23, discovered when her husband died that, much to her dismay, a soldier’s belongings are washed, folded, and separated into boxes and bags before being shipped home. Facing such lessons alone can be a daunting task. In response, they created this project to share their stories, connect with other widows, and offer support where they could. I can only imagine the strength that must take. These women have sacrificed for our country in a way that few can understand. Yet one should not lament their husbands losing their lives for their country. One mother from my hometown who lost her son said a phrase I will never forget. Her son did not lose his life for our country; he proudly gave his life for our country. I imagine those widows feel the same way.