Dartmouth's Daily Blog
News, commentary, criticism and praise for the College on the Hill, enlivened with history, culture and travel when we feel so moved.
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That Dear Old Dirty Town
“Dilbert” author Scott Adams travels to New York and learns about the subway:
Once armed with your little card, you swipe it on the turnstile. This is a frightening experience because there are at least nine wrong ways to swipe a card in a turnstile. I discovered all of them as a line of impatient New Yorkers formed behind me. I was holding the card the right way, and swiping it in the right direction, but as a uniformed guard eventually showed me, there is also something about the speed, trajectory, and possibly your state of mind that is also necessary for the turnstile to accept the card. I don’t know how many times the turnstile has to reject you before the guy with the badge puts his knee on your neck and starts yelling €œDO NOT RESIST! € but I am sure I was close to the limit.This happens to be a highly accurate explanation of the subway turnstile system—and state of mind, it turns out, matters quite a bit. It takes some discipline and finesse, but one can reliably power through a subway turnstile without slowing or pausing by observing a few simple rules.
One, you must suavely, unthinkingly, extract your MetroCard from a breast pocket on approach to the turnstile; two, you must walk determinedly, passing and dekeing several people on your way to the turnstile; three, fix your eyes on the prize—your subway awaiting thither—and do not look down at the MetroCard reader, for it senses hesitation; four, think I am more important than this subway station as your card swims through the reader; five, proceed through the turnstile with all the weight and inertia you can gather, never supposing for a moment that the puny metallic concomitant might interdict the execution of your important business. Also, wait for the click so that you do not make an ass of yourself.
Meanwhile, before I retire, allow me to share two more important bits of information about New York City.
THE BEST BARBERS are those at Paul Mole, the spartan, efficient, lovely men’s barbershop on 74th and Lexington. If you have time, allow them to give you a shave, too. It costs more than two bits, but it is worth it. Bring cash.
THE BEST TAILOR is a man called Joseph at 7 Dey Street between Broadway and Church. Joseph is a brilliant bald man with a manner sufficiently Italianate that he was, for a spell, Rudy Giuliani’s tailor. He had a hand in solving Rudy’s shoulder-slump issue, which is a serious but rarely diagnosed problem with some men.
That is all.
August 14, 2013
Breaking: Of Crips and Bloods and Memories of Ghetto Parties
History repeats itself, first as tragedy and then as farce, or sometimes it just repeats itself. From the New York Times on November 30, 1998: At Dartmouth College, white students at a ”ghetto party” dressed…
June 25, 2013
Dean of the College Charlotte Johnson’s War on Students Part (2/2)
Part 1, Part 2 Today’s post again recounts the events that befell the Freshman. However, the content of the Hanover Police department report reproduced in this space yesterday is supplemented by information from my own…
October 18, 2009
When Love Beckoned in 52nd Street
We were at San Francisco’s BIX last evening, enjoying prosecco, cheese, and a bit of music. A full year of inhabitation in Northern California has unraveled to me no decent venue for proper lounging, but…
October 9, 2009
D Afraid of a Little Competish
So our colleague and Dartblog writer Joe Asch informed me that the D has rejected our cunning advertising campaign. Uh-oh. The Dartmouth is widely known as a breeding ground for instant New York Times successes,…
September 4, 2009
How Regents Should Reign
As Dartmouth alumni proceed through the legal hoops necessary to defuse a Board-packing plan—which put in unhappy desuetude an historic 1891 Agreement between alumni and the College guaranteeing a half-democratically-elected Board of Trustees—it strikes one…
August 29, 2009
Election Reform Study Committee
If you are an alum of the College on the Hill, you may have received a number of e-mails of late beseeching your input for a new arm of the College’s Alumni Control Apparatus called…
- The Dartmouth College Case
- 2007 Trustee Election
- Dartmouth Constitution
- Sunday Morning Sinatra
- The Indian Wars
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