Dartmouth's Daily Blog
News, commentary, criticism and praise for the College on the Hill, enlivened with history, culture and travel when we feel so moved.
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The New Jersey Counter-Obesity Agency
Usually, when a person is in some peculiar way displeased with his life, the first thing that comes to his mind is, Why doesn’t my state government have an agency to deal with this problem?
A fair question.
Residents of New Jersey labor under such despair less often, since the Garden State already has an agency for just about everything. And now, Jerseyans have finally been granted the right to be thin with the introduction of the brand new New Jersey Counter-Obesity Agency. Suited men with backpack vacuums will roam the mean streets of Newark, Camden, and Trenton. No lipid will escape the devouring maw of this new state agency. It’s thinness from here on out.
Oh, but you may be skeptical. You may see Fred M. Jacobs, commissioner of the state Department of Health and Senior Services, on the street. And you may ask Fred, How, precisely, will the Official New Jersey Fat Response Unit prevent fatness? Isn’t it a personal liberty issue? But you underestimate Fred. All New Jersey agencies have public relations departments, and the Flab Squad is no exception.
“I want to do that without creating a further stigma on individual people,” Fred replies. “It’s bad enough when you’re fat that people think less of you. I don’t want the government piling on.”
Oh. Marvel, friends! Kneel, and avert! Behold a model bureaucracy! Not one full day old, and yet its self-justifying charter been etched into indelible granite. The New Jersey Obesity Reduction Task Force and Rapid Response Squad will: 1) Not do anything with respect to individual people, since they are stigmatized enough, and 2) Will not allow the government to “pile on” writ large. It must eliminate obesity, and yet it is prevented from doing anything towards that goal. It shall exist forever, producing ream after ream of reports about how its continued existence is 51% likely to be absolutely necessary.
Also, it anticipates costs going up next year.
August 14, 2013
Breaking: Of Crips and Bloods and Memories of Ghetto Parties
History repeats itself, first as tragedy and then as farce, or sometimes it just repeats itself. From the New York Times on November 30, 1998: At Dartmouth College, white students at a ”ghetto party” dressed…
June 25, 2013
Dean of the College Charlotte Johnson’s War on Students Part (2/2)
Part 1, Part 2 Today’s post again recounts the events that befell the Freshman. However, the content of the Hanover Police department report reproduced in this space yesterday is supplemented by information from my own…
October 18, 2009
When Love Beckoned in 52nd Street
We were at San Francisco’s BIX last evening, enjoying prosecco, cheese, and a bit of music. A full year of inhabitation in Northern California has unraveled to me no decent venue for proper lounging, but…
October 9, 2009
D Afraid of a Little Competish
So our colleague and Dartblog writer Joe Asch informed me that the D has rejected our cunning advertising campaign. Uh-oh. The Dartmouth is widely known as a breeding ground for instant New York Times successes,…
September 4, 2009
How Regents Should Reign
As Dartmouth alumni proceed through the legal hoops necessary to defuse a Board-packing plan—which put in unhappy desuetude an historic 1891 Agreement between alumni and the College guaranteeing a half-democratically-elected Board of Trustees—it strikes one…
August 29, 2009
Election Reform Study Committee
If you are an alum of the College on the Hill, you may have received a number of e-mails of late beseeching your input for a new arm of the College’s Alumni Control Apparatus called…
- The Dartmouth College Case
- 2007 Trustee Election
- Dartmouth Constitution
- Sunday Morning Sinatra
- The Indian Wars
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