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Pols Target Anxious Single Females
Here is a ridiculous New York Magazine article about how never-married single gals—22% of the population, don’t you know—are going to be the decisive factor in the 2008 presidential election. No one was thinking about them before!
In furtherance of the cause, here are some ideas for future important (and entirely arbitrary) constituencies. Campaign managers should keep them in mind, because they are the key to the White House.
1. Voters who really wish the J. Geils Band had had a few more good songs.
2. Eighteen year old girls whose dads bought them used Jettas but who killed the clutch after a few weeks and can’t afford to get it replaced because Old Navy pays minimum wage.
3. Hamburger eaters.
4. Hispanic thirtysomethings who live with their wives in the attic of a house with two other men, and who have twins and sing a good rendition of “Do-Wah-Diddy.”
5. Voters who never understood the appeal of Grape Nuts and feel a little bit guilty about that.
Featured posts
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October 18, 2009
When Love Beckoned in 52nd Street
We were at San Francisco’s BIX last evening, enjoying prosecco, cheese, and a bit of music. A full year of inhabitation in Northern California has unraveled to me no decent venue for proper lounging, but… -
October 9, 2009
D Afraid of a Little Competish
So our colleague and Dartblog writer Joe Asch informed me that the D has rejected our cunning advertising campaign. Uh-oh. The Dartmouth is widely known as a breeding ground for instant New York Times successes,… -
September 4, 2009
How Regents Should Reign
As Dartmouth alumni proceed through the legal hoops necessary to defuse a Board-packing plan—which put in unhappy desuetude an historic 1891 Agreement between alumni and the College guaranteeing a half-democratically-elected Board of Trustees—it strikes one… -
August 29, 2009
Election Reform Study Committee
If you are an alum of the College on the Hill, you may have received a number of e-mails of late beseeching your input for a new arm of the College’s Alumni Control Apparatus called… -
August 23, 2009
Fare Thee Well, Tom Crady
And now Dean Tom Crady has precipitously announced his departure from the College after only 20 months on the job. How to read this? By way of background, prior to coming to Dartmouth, Crady had… -
May 31, 2009
Kangaroo Court, Indeed
In an interview with The Dartmouth, alumni-elected trustee T.J. Rodgers ‘70 explained his reasons for declining to participate in future evaluations of trustees up for “re-election,” namely the “kangaroo court” nature of such discussion in…