Archived post

This is an archived post. Please click here to see the latest entries.

« When Outdoor Stand-Up Interviews Go Awry | Home | Syndication Deals: Now for Class Newsletters, Too »

Breaking: Company Sells You Product, Makes Money

The Agence France-Presse says that “sparks” are “fly[ing]” over the announcement just made in Irving, Texas: ExxonMobil had a gangbusters quarter, raking in $10.36 billion dollars in profit. That’s the second most profitable quarter in the company’s history.

Stoked by skyrocketing crude-oil prices, ExxonMobil’s net profit in the quarter to June came to 1.72 dollars per share. That handily beat Wall Street forecasts for an earnings figure of 1.64 dollars.

Total revenues in the three months rose 11.8 percent from the same quarter of 2005 to 99 billion dollars.

In Congress, Democratic lawmakers said the sky-high profits reflected misplaced policies by the adminstration of George W. Bush.

Yes: And now for the political angle! ExxonMobil is a corporation. It is massive and secret and unaccountable to anyone, you see. ExxonMobil trucks gas to retailers, while minions seated deep in Texas press buttons to determine the global price of their source product, crude oil. The company is presided over by “The Man” and its customer base is “The Little Guy”. Its core competency is “the keeping down of the customer by the president”. This sort of a relationship doesn’t usually make sense, but ExxonMobil forces you to purchase their product.

Crystal-clear? Now back to the AFP report:

The soaring profits of ExxonMobil and other oil groups have generated fierce criticism about the industry profiting from consumer misery, prompting some US lawmakers to call for a “windfall” profits tax.
Under such misery suffer those consumers! Those pale, loitering lots supernaturally forced to exchange in consumptive transactions over and over again, unable to choose whether, at what price, or from whom they shall have their gas. O, if only they had invested in ExxonMobile five years ago.


The Dark Prince ascends.


Featured posts

  • August 14, 2013
    Breaking: Of Crips and Bloods and Memories of Ghetto Parties
    History repeats itself, first as tragedy and then as farce, or sometimes it just repeats itself. From the New York Times on November 30, 1998: At Dartmouth College, white students at a ”ghetto party” dressed…
  • June 25, 2013
    Dean of the College Charlotte Johnson’s War on Students Part (2/2)
    Part 1, Part 2 Today’s post again recounts the events that befell the Freshman. However, the content of the Hanover Police department report reproduced in this space yesterday is supplemented by information from my own…
  • October 18, 2009
    When Love Beckoned in 52nd Street
    We were at San Francisco’s BIX last evening, enjoying prosecco, cheese, and a bit of music. A full year of inhabitation in Northern California has unraveled to me no decent venue for proper lounging, but…
  • October 9, 2009
    D Afraid of a Little Competish
    So our colleague and Dartblog writer Joe Asch informed me that the D has rejected our cunning advertising campaign. Uh-oh. The Dartmouth is widely known as a breeding ground for instant New York Times successes,…
  • September 4, 2009
    How Regents Should Reign
    As Dartmouth alumni proceed through the legal hoops necessary to defuse a Board-packing plan—which put in unhappy desuetude an historic 1891 Agreement between alumni and the College guaranteeing a half-democratically-elected Board of Trustees—it strikes one…
  • August 29, 2009
    Election Reform Study Committee
    If you are an alum of the College on the Hill, you may have received a number of e-mails of late beseeching your input for a new arm of the College’s Alumni Control Apparatus called…

Dartblog Specials

Subscribe by Email

Enter your email address:

Help, Pecuniarily

Please note

This website reflects the personal opinions of its authors. Any e-mails received may be published along with the full name of the sender. If you wish otherwise, please say so.

All content appearing at should be presumed copyright 2004-2018 its respective bylined author unless otherwise noted or unless linked to original source.




April 2018
Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat
1 2 3 4 5 6 7
8 9 10 11 12 13 14
15 16 17 18 19 20 21
22 23 24 25 26 27 28
29 30