Dartblog

I am sitting in the library, next to a fellow who I’ve just learned is The Most Annoying Person In The World. Do you know the small but perennial annoyance of people who go ‘ahhh’ while drinking coffee? This guy does that, but he does it after every blessed sip.

But what’s worse, he doesn’t go ‘ahhh’. He’d very much like to declare his java enjoyment to those around him, but ‘ahhh’ is far too subtle a measure. No, this guy opts for a guttural ‘gak!’, using whatever sinews aren’t occupied in the consumption of caffeine to yodel out his pleasure. He’s actually amplifying the ‘gak!’ and consciously pushing it through his diaphragm, like a young opera student, taking a break from his formal lessons and practicing the Queen of the Night aria, transposed down seventy-nine octaves, while drinking a hot beverage. And while being bludgeoned with a mace.

And he’s doing it after every sip.

Oh, and his clothes. I generally don’t care much about what people wear, but The Most Annoying Person In The World is wearing a suit jacket. A bright red one. With a ‘hoodie’ sweatshirt underneath. And jeans. And tennis sneakers. His hair also bothers me, but at this point I think it’s a self-fulfilling prophesy, and I’m concerned that this rant will get back to him, so I’ll cut if off here.

But, man. This guy is annoying.