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Tuesday, February 21, 2006
There’s a Reasonable Explanation for Everything
TO: Bush, George W. <president@whitehouse.gov>
FR: Hassan_JIM <iedluvr@hotmail.com>
RE: An EXCITING Opporotunity I Give You
My friend Bush, George W. FIRST, I MUST SOLICIT YOUR STRICTEST CONFIDENCE IN THIS TRANSACTION. I have small time to receive answer from you to my urgent desire. I am Hassan of United Arab Emirates. My great grand father has just gone to his fate by POLITICAL ASSASSINN’S KILL and in order for the collection of my inheritance I must have from valid AMERICAN bank account routing number and chance to control ports. However the government here is rigid and to would take this inheritance from my righteous family. My great grand father was wealthy financeir with many fortunes from his young biz ness, DUBAI PORTS WORLD! I need urgent help. I ask YOU personally for hands in this matter. I wanted to contact you on the telephone but it is tapped. I must E-MAIL. Provide me AMERICAN banking account numbers for transfer and contract of port control. This transaction is quiet and very safe from the eyes of lookers. In exchange for your saving, I desire to you send $40 million in your dollars. This is urgent request. Please give me reply quickly, for the time is low. If you will only provide American bank account and give east coast ports to DUBAI PORTS WORLD bliss will be upon our families. Please, your speedful reply is what is needed. I will contact you Bush, George W, swifty after.
YOURS FAITHFULLY,
Hassan
DPW
A little Tuesday morning snark inspired by the lovely and talented Kathryn Jean Lopez, who at the Corner made the quite true observation that this whole dela sounds suspiciously like a spam message. In all earnestness, though, I trust this President to do the right thing, and the right thing is not necessarily banning investments from or ownership by Arab nations. The White House has a strong record on national security since 9/11 and, if it is allowed, will continue to keep the homeland safe in years to come. There is no reasonable likelihood that DPW was not properly vetted by the government’s security agencies—the United States military, after all, ships equipment in to and out of these very ports using commercial carriers—and anyone who has spent any time at a major east coast foreign-owned shipping port knows that no Arabic monarchy in the world, no matter how rich or powerful, is strong enough to supplant patriotic (and unionized) Brooklyn men from their jobs there.
The contract, though, is marvelous for its political stupidity.
Posted on February 21, 2006 06:05 AM. Permalink 