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Wednesday, December 07, 2005

The Committee on the Tree

In 1997, Dartmouth College convened the Committee on the Tree, a menagerie of three students, three chaplains, an Office of Public Programs representative, the rabbi, and the dean of the Tucker Foundation. The Committee was charged with answering the fundamental question of life, the universe, and everything: Can we call that tree a Christmas tree? The answer, in due time, was yes, that tree can be called a Christmas tree. The Committee, further, found that under said Christmas tree the singing of songs commonly described as ‘Christmas songs’ would be acceptable, although the singing of these songs would be left to the ultimate discretion of the Glee Club.

And on the seventh day, the College’s bureaucracy rested.

Things were good. Dartmouth was level-headed, sane, and no Jewish or Muslim students vaporized at the sight of the green pyramidal tree with strung lights. We had a Christmas tree in 1999, 2000, (2001?), 2002, and 2003. One might say that a precedent had been set for the naming of the tree. Complainants, choosing to sup with nog rather than deans, quieted. All was calm on the appellation front. So in 2004, reveling in the apathy, whoever-it-is sprung into action, and Dartmouth promptly installed a towering, lit, green, coniferous Holiday tree on the campus around the time of the Holy Day Of Which We Do Not Speak.

And now, inexplicable except for the intervening year’s show of traditional strength on the part of alumni, Dartmouth is back to the good old Christmas tree.

The moral of the story? Dartmouth is a sharp place full of smart people and cool heads. Even if it takes a Committee on the Tree to discern the right answer.

Posted on December 7, 2005 06:21 AM. Permalink